Mad World
by WiTHOUTYOUxx
Summary: Roxas' body hit the cold floor, clutching the gun. They said recovery will be tough, and he knows it's almost impossible. It really makes you think...will that one insult push someone to the edge? T for suicide attempt, cutting, and angst.
1. Preview

Prolouge

He shoved though the hallways, avoiding the shoulders and backpacks of other students. Roxas felt rather indifferent at the moment. Some of him felt excited; he was finally going to be free, let go of all of this pain. On the other hand, he felt nervous.

Would if someone found him? Would if some freak incident happens and he isn't the one that gets hurt? He sighed, walking right past the lunch room. He _could_ do it in there, but then blood might get on someones clothes, and he doubted people wanted his brains splattered into their meatloaf surprise or whatever.

He was almost to his destination when he was stopped by a large group of people. They were all in his grade; some of them even in the class he just had. They grinned smugly.

"Oh, where do you think you're going, huh?" The leader, asked. He rolled his eyes.

"Can't you guys just leave me alone today?" He asked, trying to make his way to the bathroom in front of him.

"Oh, no." The bulk of the team grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back into the middle. They were not circled around him. "What, you going to go ditch lunch to cry in the bathroom?" They all laughed. His backpack was thrown to the side. You'd think he'd be use to them by now and try to avoid them. They were just another reason. They threw him around, puches and hits thrown. The slaps don't hurt anymore, the words are nothing. It will all be nothing soon. After a few more insults and a few bruises, they threw him onto a locker and walked away.

He grabbed his bag and began walking, but stopped. He turned.

"Hey!" He yelled over. A few turned, then the rest of the group did the same. "Just remember..." He started. "You are going to regret all of this." He said. They answered with laughs, middle fingers, and backs turned. He shook his head and turned back to go walk into the vacant bathroom. He wanted to scream, but kept in so no one finds him. Instead, he punched the wall a few times. What the fuck did he do to make them hate him? He felt anger building and building until he was about to explode.

He reached into his backpack and searched until he found cool metal against his skin. Roxas took it out and eyed it with lust. He was going to do it. This was the final time he'd ever have to go through this shit ever again...

He placed the gun shakily against his temple and wrapped his finger around the trigger. He felt his heart's last beats thump quickly in his chest. He could have swore it would have jumped out if his ribcage wasn't in place. Adrenaline rushed through his whole entire body. The world rocked and spun in his head.

_This is it. _He thought. _I'm going to be dead in twenty seconds. All of this shit...I'm tired of it. I can't run from them, I can't do this anymore. Fuck you,_ He squeezed his eyes shut, becoming dizzy. His heart roared inside his ears. His mind begged him to stop, his heart screamed to do it already. He heard a door slam open, but it sounded quiet and far away. His head was splitting with pain, and he felt himself drop to the cold tiles.

And then, everything went black.

_Goodb-._

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There was the the little beginning before the beginning. Heh.

Review on what you think. Chapter one already up!

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	2. One: Waking Up

Chapter One

Roxas explained it multiple times now. He doesn't know how he feels right now. Why does this lady keep asking him? The blonde kept his gaze down and arms crossed. He refused to be in this room, this _box_. A concrete cage with dark gray-blue walls and ceiling-high bookshelves in every corner. There was a large window behind Ms. Hikari, the lady they sent in to help him 'cope'. His large Vans lightly kicked against the desk between them. Nothing was wrong with him. He didn't do anything that bad. Hell, he didn't do anything.

He could have done it. He told himself that if only he pulled it quicker he would be okay. It's a lie.

He was too scared to do anything.

"I don't need to be here." he mumbled after ignoring the countless questions. He finally glared up. The tired, brown eyes of Ms. Hikari meeting his dull, cold blue ones. She raised an eyebrow, her lips pursed. She searched her mind for the right, safe way to say her response. Wouldn't that be a mistake, saying the wrong thing to an emotionally-handicapped teenager. She scribbled something down on a notepad Roxas couldn't see.

"When you hold a shotgun to your head in the boys' bathroom, that usually calls for counciling, Mr.-" He cut her off harshly.

"It's _Roxas_." he spat, looking away. He glanced at the dumb motivational posters, abstract art and dipolmas hanging around the room.

"Roxas." she finished carefully. "Your legal guardian also wishes that you attend tharapy sessions." She looked down at the list of questions that she must ask all of her paitents. She pushed her black glasses up the bridge of her nose and made sure she was making eye contact with Roxas.

"Roxas, I need you to listen." Ms. Hikari began. "Axel, your legal guardian, has signed you in and has given us the okay." she said. His furrowed his eye brows; his once pissed expression soon turned to a confused one.

"Wait. Signed me in for what? What are you talking about?" Roxas asked, having a faint idea of what is going on. Axel wouldn't...no. Of course not! He wouldn't leave him here. That's insane...Axel wouldn't...

"Uh, well, he signed the papers saying that you will be attending here. Not just for counciling though," she paused for a moment. "You will be living here for eight months, or at least until we know that you are fully recovered and back to normal behavior." She finished and smiled, writing a scribble of her thoughts. "How does that sound?" Roxas glared and stood abrubtly.

"No!" He exclaimed. "No, I'm not staying here! This is bullshit! I'm not going to live here for eight months with a bunch of other fucked up kids that everyone else rejected!" He yelled, slamming his hands onto the wooden desk before him. "What do I need recovery for! Do you see a bullet hole in my head? No, you don't! There is no recovery! You, you _freaks_ can't do this to me!" he screamed at her.

He sat back down slowly, Ms. Hikari seeming unphased by his actions. "You don't have much of a choice, Roxas. You are already signed up. Your belongings were brought here and it is all paid for." She waited for any reaction, but didn't get one.

"Come with me, I'll show you your room."

Review, rate, whatever you want to call it. Tell me your honest oninon. If it sucked, tell me it sucked so I know what to fix and don't write a whole entire shit-tastic fanfiction. If you enjoyed it, tell me why.

I really do appreciate it.

Thank you. c:

Chapter two is up.

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	3. Two: Meet and Greet

Roxas found himself awake again that night. He glanced over at the clock. 3:58 AM.

For hours, he's been trying to think how he survived. He remembered a headache, hitting the floor, yet there was no bullet hole.

He'd have to ask Ms. Hikari in the morning. Roxas inhaled a shaky, deep breath. He had no tears left inside him, just feeling empty and alone. It was that same piercing feeling in his gut that he felt so many times before.

It was like a knife named Abandonment stabbed your gut over and over again, yet you were too numb to feel it; you just knew it was there. You also knew _they_ aren't coming back, but your nine year-old self stayed up every night to see a taxi to pull into the driveway.

He glanced at the composition notebook on the nightstand. The nuthouse gave it to him to 'express the feelings'. He thought about writing in it for a millisecond, but rebelled against it. _They would use it against me._ He thought.

He imagined this like a war-zone, trust and fear no one. All he had to do was wait until these thirty-two weeks to go by and then he's be able to leave this place and then...well he hadn't think that far but he just knew he would be free.

_That's what you thought with that gun to your head. You'd be free. _He told himself bitterly. Even his _mind_ hated him. Roxas rolled over and attempted to sleep. A sudden wave of exhaustion washed over him.

His eyes looked to his left. 4: 36 AM.

His eyelids drooped shut and he finally slipped into some sleep. At least he was safe in his dreams.

Roxas woke to his alarm clock echoing a quiet buzzing noise. It wasn't obnoxiously loud or annoying like most, but it got him awake. He clicked the top button blindly and buried his head deep into his pillow. Not being able to go back to sleep, he turned back over. Sunlight beaming through the large square windows peeled back his eyelids, making him fully awake. Roxas crawled out of the bed and took a moment to look around.

His room had three white walls and one off-blue one. The wall parallel to the door had two windows on it with shelves built into the wall. He wondered over, finding his clothes folded there. He picked up some fresh clothes and wondered to the bathroom. He glanced at the unmade bed against the blue wall. He wasn't going to make that.

He took a quick shower in the dull bathroom and dressed for the day. He was about to leave to roam around when he found a schedule mantled to the door.

_Roxas, _

_Your usual week day will go as said below:_

_7:30-8:00 AM ; Breakfast_

_8:05-8:50 AM ; Group Session_

_8:55-11:10 AM - Schooling I_

_11:15-11:55 AM - Free/Solo Session_

_12:00-12:30 PM - Lunch_

_12:35-2:50 PM - Schooling II_

_2:55-4:55 PM - Free_

_5:00 PM - Dinner_

_Free until Curfew - 10:00_

_Breakfast will be in your room._

_Lunch and Dinner will be in room 12._

_Solo Sessions will be on Monday, Wednesday and Friday._

_- Ms. Hikari_

He glanced down at his watch. 8:12 AM. He wasn't _that_ late. He opened the door to Ms. Hikari's office, where four other teens sat. They all looked up and Ms. Hikari stood. She sighed in relief, then showed Roxas his seat.

"You're late, Roxas. I was going to send someone to find you soon." She said with a jokingly smile, though he doubted she was joking. "They were just about to all introduce themselves. Who would like to go first?" she asked as if she was speaking to a group of kindergarten children. Roxas sat in his chair. He looked around, waiting for someone to raise their hand.

Roxas rolled his eyes. She didn't really expect someone to raise their hand and spill their life story, did she? He looked around. Everyone had their gaze down, hoping they wouldn't be called on. _So I'm not the only one who doesn't want to be here._

"Guys," she began. She looked tired. "You will all have to share eventually. You will be living with him for eight months; you might as well start getting to know each other. It's scary on the first day..." She paused, hoping her speech would make a difference. She sighed. "Okay, you'll all be going around and sharing." That earned her some glares. "Roxas, would you like to start?" she asked, smiling. The others turned slightly to face him.

"No." He said. The others chucked. It earned him a stern look from Ms. Hikari.

"Go Roxas. Don't be shy. Why are you here?"

Roxas mentally cursed. _Fuck. What am I supposed to say? "Hi, I'm Roxas, I tried shooting myself!" _He opened his mouth, but no words seemed to come.

"You know why I'm here." He said softly. He could feel their eyes folding back every layer of his skin, their minds bouncing off the bland walls with ideas and stories as to why he was there.

"What was that, Roxas?"

Roxas swallowed and tried to think clearly. He always got like this when there was new people around him, or large numbers. He can hear their squeaky voices tainted with lies. He can feel an imaginary hand grabbing his throat, pinning him to a wall.

"...Roxas?" a voice tried from one of the other teens.

"You know why I'm here!" He yelled, gluing his eyes to the older woman before him. Ms. Hikari was slightly taken aback, but that was her only reaction. She took a small breath and looked at the others.

"Roxas is here for severe depression. Say hello." She shared, oblivious to the heat rising to his face. It was embarrassing, it was private. Other people shouldn't know that. He was supposed to be the tough one.

"Hi Roxas." Two of the boys said at the same time, mocking a rehab circle. They bumped knuckles.

"Don't be assholes, you guys." A girl spat, glaring them down.

"I'm not an asshole!" One shot back angrily, the other just looking away.

"Language," she warned.

Ignoring her, the girl turned her attention back to Roxas. "I'm Olette." She said with a smile. She stuck a thin hand out to him. He stalled, but eventually shook it.

"You'll get use to them," she whispered.

"I heard that!" He said, shooting a glare, but composing himself.. "I'm Hayner, and that's Pence." He said, both too far for a handshake. Roxas nodded.

"They have a bromance, you'll also get use to that." Olette whispered again, earning two more glares.

"Someone's sipping some haterade there, Olette." Pence remarked, then high-fived the other boy.

All Roxas could do was stare. Was this a nuthouse or_ Full House_? His blue eyes twitched slightly. They were all way too happy and way too excited to be here. Well, all of them except for one.

A small blonde girl sat to Pence's left, watching in amusement. She was ghostly. Light hair, sky blue eyes, fair skin; and her attire didn't help much either. Compared to the vibrant orange, red, and green the others wore, she had on a white tee-shirt and faded jeans. Was she actually there?

"Naminé, would you like to say anything to Roxas?" Ms. Hikari asked. She was silent before giving the boys a look.

She finally made eye contact with Roxas.

"I see dead people."

Roxas was screwed.

_-gasp;_

I'm _not_ using Kairi and Sora? Sorry guys, but I'm not. They may show up in later chapters, but they're not going to be main characters. I wanted to shine some light on our favorite Twilight Town trio. Plus, Roxas is best friends with them. I feel like it makes more sense.

I hope you guys like the edits I made in the other chapters. They're small, but I think they are better.

Also, I wanted to add some comedy to this chapter. I know it's an angsty and depressing fanfiction with some tough subjects, but it would get too much of a drag of it was sad all the time.

I hope you all like it. Review, I love to hear all of the opinions (good and bad).

Chapter three in the process!

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